Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Motherhood Nightmares

We've all heard of them, if not even experienced them ourselves. The dreams mothers or expecting mothers have that make them wake up in the morning in a panic.

I've had two miscarriage nightmares so far. And although I'm now past the most risky stage of pregnancy and the baby has been confirmed healthy and defect-free by my OB, apparently my mind is still worried aboout it.

Last night in my nightmare I dreamt that the baby came, waaay too early. It was a miscarriage. Only when it was "born", although as tiny as an apple slice, it was screaming. It was horrible.

And even in my dream I was rationalizing with myself, through my tears. I was planning a sort of funeral for it, and thinking about when we could try for another baby and how scary that pregnancy would be, would I just lose the baby again?

When I woke up, it took me a minute to realize, that the baby was still safe and sound, and that it hadn't come yet and that I was still pregnant.

It's crazy how real they can seem, nightmares.

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