Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Crying Game

{The following pictures are from my phone... blegh!}
Oh Violet...

This baby came home from the hospital and slept through the night {7 hours} just a few days later...

and she's been doing such every since. 

She's 10 weeks old tomorrow and has slept through the night all but, maybe, 2 nights since? 

It's absolutely fantastic. 

Naptime is another story...

{I could stare at this all day, really. Just shut up, chores!}
Is it the daylight or something?
Is it Eisley's noisemaking?

Speaking of Eisley...

...the poor thing gets ignored half the day. At least this is how it feels...

Because Violet often gets overtired by mid-morning and I start focusing on getting her to sleep, which usually means nursing...

...which means I can't do much for Eisley during this time.

So Pie ends up watching far too much TV and playing by herself whilst I take Violet to feed her and hope she falls asleep doing so. 

If she's not hungry, I wrap her tight and rock her to sleep. 

It can take a while... she's easily distracted and excitable...

If Eisley comes in she uses her loud, cheery two-year old voice and wants my attention...

...unfortunately that gets Violet's attention, too. And so I discourage that...

But it's sincerely been making me very sad...

...and frustrated. 

Because it feels unfair that Eisley can go a good two hours 
{yes, it's been known to take that long} 
being ignored. 

I hate it!

Perhaps, I hope, in some way it's good for Eisley???
Good for her to learn the world doesn't revolve around her...
good for her to learn to entertain herself...

...but still, it feels wrong.
Some days it feels like 100% of me just goes to Violet. 
Babies are needy!

It makes me worry Eisley's not getting the attention she needs.

It makes me worry Eisley will resent Violet {though she shows no signs of this}.

It makes me think I could never handle a third child... 

and then I remember, if that ever happens, 
Violet will be old enough to play with Eisley and it'd probably be easier. 

I've heard many other parents say going from one child to two is harder than going from two to three children...

and it's for this exact reason, I think. 

You want everything best for your children. 
So it's so frustrating to feel like you just can't provide that...

No longer will I judge the stay-at-home-moms with the luxury of hiring a nanny.

 I used to think nannies were only acceptable for working parents...

...but I would absolutely pay someone to play with Eisley during these times...

...if I could afford it. 
{Pie with Luther, being ignored.}

Thankfully this doesn't happen every single day, some days V-Pie goes to sleep with more ease...

Today I nursed her and she dozed off. 

{This was after 2 hours of fussy sleep fighting.}

I let her sleep on the Boppy atop my lap for a good 20 minutes to make sure she was truly out of it... 

{Of course I spent the entire time thinking about all the things I wasn't getting done, only to later regret not holding on to that peaceful moment with her a little longer... this, friends, is called motherhood. You never win.}

When I thought she was finally out of it, I oh-so-carefully lifted her from the Boppy into her bassinet next to the bed. 

She stayed asleep, I breathed again...

I wanted for a moment to be sure... 
I turned on her Sleep Sheep

It helps. Sometimes. 

{I really am a fan of this little guy, he helps me sleep, too}

...and crept slowly to the door...

...I turned and watched for a moment... still...

...and then her leg jerked. 

Eyes fluttered open. 

"Mom?! Where's my pacifier?!" 
she seemed to be asking with her panicked look. 


My stomach tightens, pulse quickens, blood pressure rises... 

{This is why I pray for God to teach me more patience, I am too easily frustrated. Good thing those years of doing kid's haircuts taught me to at least stay outwardly pleasant and keep a smile on my face even while I'm so fed up in my head... I would hate to let my girls see how frustrated I can let myself become. My worst flaw.}

Darn those flailing, twitching newborn limbs, waking my baby up!

"Swaddle her better next time," I scolded myself. 

10 minutes later, after holding the pacifier in her mouth until she was asleep again {but avoiding eye contact as it makes her want to chat}, I finally sneaked out of the room 
{praying - literally - to God that she would stay asleep this time}...

I found Eisley watching Yo Gabba. 
That meant it was 2:30 p.m. - her naptime. 

So I told her to head to her bed, we'd read a few books...

...four books, and a little home cookin' from Eisley's kitchen {she makes the best plastic pie on this side of the Platte}. 

It was good time together, naptime could wait a little longer...

As for Violet, I know what some might say, 
"Let her cry." 

But that's harder... 
and not quite something you do with babies this young, in my opinion...

... there is a physiological response in a mother when her newborn cries...

...especially that horribly tragic little Stevie-Nicks-quiver that makes Violet's cry even more pitiful... 

there is no way I'm not responding to that!

I spent the first few moments of naptime silence today reflecting and comforting myself with the fact that it really does get easier - balancing all their needs.
Eisley had her fussy days as an infant, too. 
She had days of trouble napping, too, and it helped to remind myself of that. Now she can be left alone in a room to entertain herself for a while, and there is no coaxing her to sleep. 

They grow more independent of me each day. Bittersweet.

Soon Violet will not require such intense attention, 
and she will be a playmate to Eisley.

Yes. It will get easier to manage...

Easy as pie. 

Friday, April 29, 2011

Easter on the Farm

 This year we celebrated Easter out on the Sander family farm. Since Aunt Rachel & Uncle Todd came out from California {and Violet is finally here} we thought it'd be a good family portrait photo op.

When deciding how to arrange ourselves, I said, "I want my left side showing because my nose tilts to the right and that's my bad side! Let's all fade, left to right, from brunette to blonde!" And so we did. 
{Maybe thats not exactly how it went...}
My mom came out to the farm for the day, too. 

Sander Grandparents with their four grandchildren. I know what you're thinking, "Blonde genes, much?" Don't be jealous...
 Eisley is a very caring, concerned little girl, see? Violet... well she just thinks it's funny to puke for pictures. I'd just like one serious photo of her...
{You know what they say about the younger sibling having to ham it up for attention...}
 We headed over to the barn apartment for the Easter dinner. 

It's always good to see the back of your hair looked okay. Whew. 

Then back over to the house for an Easter egg hunt, compliments of the Grandma Holly.
Eisley scores another one!
 The kids loved it. Eisley has been toting her prized egg collection around every since... 
 I made another ruffle cake for dessert. I swear the ruffles make buttercream taste better...
 It's always fun to go look at the animals while we're out there. Look at how excited Justin is!
 When I was a girl my grandparents lived on a large property in the mountains that we'd explore and ride horses on - some of my best memories are from visits to their house. I'm happy my kids will have their grandparents farm to grow up exploring...
 Nothing like a good post-meal chicken watch on Easter.
 Eisley thoroughly enjoyed herself...

 Visiting horses.

My little family - Easter 2011
Blessed times!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Violet Party

Welcome to the party!!!
After Violet's baptism last weekend we hosted a little "Violet themed" soirée at our house. It was a sweet, grand old time with all our loved ones present, and a wonderful celebration of our blessing that is Violet.

 {Check out this amazing post our friend Colleen did on the party, she is so sweet. I'm sad I didn't get a picture of the two of us!}

I wanted to share some of the pictures I did get of the party in honor of Miss. V.

Miss. V with her momma {moi}.
All the violet colored goodies.
Of course, Violet flavored mints. {Acquired taste required.}

Me & V. 
Violet glassware {World Market}.
Violet colored taffy {Sunflower Market}, chalkboard tags {$1/ea at Michael's!}
Yogurt covered pretzels. And purple violet Peeps!
Yellow cupcakes with buttercream {violet, of course} frosting.
French macarons. NOT from Ladurée, but my own failed attempt. 
Cake balls! AKA Cake Pops, sans stick.
Chicken salad on croissants in bakers bags from Etsy.
Peeps & pretzels, served in cupcake wrappers.
Ruffle cake, inspired by Martha. I had to try it, this was the perfect time. 
No party is complete without silver straws

I loved how all the shades of purple violet mixed together. 
That's my V-Pie!

These technically were "flops" but still tasted good. Nutella/marshmallow filling!
Chocolate cross pops.
Forgot to put those out until half way through the party...
Justin's family enjoying their treats.
Grandma {Mom} enjoying her treat.
Soapmaker/Grandma Erickson made the favors, violet scented soaps. 
Perfect for a baptism party!
Great Grandma Sander, Moriah, Violet, & Grandma Sander.
Ruffle cake: we love you, not just for your good looks but also what's on the inside.
Aunt Vesuvius with the Vi. 
Learning to use the new Nikon on some of the pretty treats...
After guests left, I had a lot of fun photographing these...
I call this one, The Lonely Cake Ball
Ruffle cake makes for a great subject.
Tempting, isn't it?
Who doesn't love a Violet cupcake? I love my Violet cupcake! All 10 lbs of her..

Most guests took home a plate of treats!
Love, Your Hostess
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